Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
