You just made me feel so damn special
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
