apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
