so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize