I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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