you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
