he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
