dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
