i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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