we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just cropdusted the office
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
