I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
