I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
