You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
