I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
