lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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