Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
