Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
