And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Two words: nipple clamps
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