can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
