I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
