At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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