my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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