What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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