there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
