In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
