i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
