u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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