I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize