So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
sex in a hospital.. check
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
