Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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