Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
