he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
