Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
