hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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