All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize