escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My dick has a subreddit
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
