i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
