Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
