Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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