My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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