i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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