if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
