Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
