farters have to be the big spoon...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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