We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
