my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
