I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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