im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
