So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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