GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
