Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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