Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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