hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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