OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
