after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
