Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
