I'm laying in your front yard are you home
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
