Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
