my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
