All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
