what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize