my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
