You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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