I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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