wanna go halves on a baby?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
