their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize