either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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