So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
