please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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