On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
