We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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