We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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