Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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