Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize