Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
