every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
